~ You NEED to read this if: Ahh, you’re white ~
I know, I know, you are white and you are most certainly not racist. Yeah I know, you reposted a ‘Black Lives Matter’ photo on Facebook. Yep and you have a friend that is umm.. African American. I get it. But you still need to read this book. ‘Why I’m No Longer Talking To White People About Race’ started as a blog post that went viral as it shone the light on racism in Britain.. something that myself and I’m sure many of you had no friggin’ clue about. I’d honestly never even thought about it, or considered it a very big issue… and that’s the bloody problem. This book provides a whole new understanding to racism and forces each reader to really check themselves and their complicity in the whole darn thing. If you want to live in a world that is kinder, safer and fairer for all people… start with this book.
~ You’ll be into this if: you just might punch the next person who utters the words ‘superfoods’ or ‘detox diet’ straight in the damn face ~
If you know me, you know I totally used to be that person. Freakin’ superfoods, detox drinks, supplements and room temperature lemon water was my jam (not actual jam though, too much sugar). It took me a while to realise these ‘foods’ didn’t actually make me feel any better and if anything, I just felt stressed, confused and really, really hungry. Diet culture has lead us to believe that to be healthy everything needs to be complicated and expensive whereas it’s actually really bloody simple – eat your damn vegetables, carbs are obviously gods gift to man but don’t go crazy and refined sugar is the devil. Duh! Shannon, the author of this incredible cookbook, makes healthy eating seriously simple and also fucking hilarious. As a nurse, Shannon despises fad diets but is also aware of the damage that unhealthy eating can do to your body – the recipes in this book are a middle ground where everything is delicious but you also don’t clog your arteries and die. If you don’t like to cook, Shannon has rated each recipe by how many fucks you’ll need to give to prepare them and if you’re worried about taste, she has also rated them by how nipple erecting each dish will be (the more erect the nipple, the more tasty the meal – I probably didn’t need to explain that?). Shannon isn’t trying to fool anyone, she knows that pasta is fucking awesome but sometimes you’ve just gotta have Zoodles instead because your insides are crying. I love this book because the recipes are bomb, Shannon is real as hell and just as funny and the whole book is completely inappropriate. Food, laughs and swearing – my favourite trio.
~ You’ll be into this if: you relate to any of the following stories~
One time a boyfriend tried to break up with me and I didn’t let him because I didn’t think he had valid enough reasons. I have hacked into an ex’s Facebook and proceeded to read through his messages. I have broken up with a boy at my parents house which was followed by an incredibly awkward weekend because he did.not.leave. My parents are yet to forgive me. I’ve done the drive by, the accidental run in, the drunken message and anything else you think ‘geez that’d be embarrassing’. I tell you these stories not only to ward off any of my future dating prospects but to hopefully make you feel like less of a dating dumby. I’ve learnt that in time as you become more comfortable and happy within yourself, heartbreak still hurts like a bitch but you are able to handle it a little better. Until then, I give you Break Up Boss. Written by Zoe Foster Blake, it’s a game changer. It’s got everything to get you through the initial break up, the week (or more) of trackpants and ice cream and then finally when you’ve got your groove back (which will always happen, I promise). I don’t regret (that much) the mistakes I’ve made in breakups but it sure as hell woulda been handy to have this book by my side. If the relationship is over, why not learn how to breakup like a BOSS?
~ You’ll be into this if: you’ve had or have been close to a breakdown in the beauty aisle because there are just so.many.products and you don’t know what skin type you are and the cashier is looking at you like you’re a big fat dope ~
Sorry, please excuse my obvious real life projection. For a while I was able to coast through life with pretty perfect skin and hair that simply needed to be washed and dried and I was ready for a night on the town (realistically I was like 16, so I was ready to go undie shopping with mum). This pure bliss lasted until I was 20 years old when I had the absolute pleasure of going through puberty for the second time.. jealous yet? With pimples taking over my face like it was nobody’s business, I decided to get woke on skincare. Enter, Amazinger Face by Zoe Foster -‘beauty, boss queen, wish-she’d-marry-me-already’ Blake. This book (bible, whatever you want to call it) gives you the how-to on absolutely everything to do with skincare, makeup, haircare, nails and gets really specific so that pretty much all your questions are answered. Who knew your face stopped at your boobs?! And that you finally have an excuse to sleep on a silk pillow case, not only because you’re a freakin’ queen but because it combats wrinkles! Uh, such a relief. That’s how I would describe this book – relief, because it solves ya worries but also makes you realise that all gals have similar problems to you. You’re not alone in this big beautiful world of beauty, fashun and glaring cashiers.
Just got out of the cinema after seeing I Feel Pretty and you’re damn right I’m gonna write about it. It’s been a while since I’ve described a movie as being ‘important’ (the most recent was Lion with Dev Patel but for different reasons) but this movie is IMPORTANT. So many of us have had the thought that ‘as soon as I…’ (insert unattainable goal) then I’ll be happy and confident. This movie spells it out so clearly and hilariously that as soon as we embrace ourselves exactly as we are it literally shines through us and we look fucking HOT, without changing a single thing about our appearance. As someone who has looked very close to society’s standards of beauty (aka just very fucking skinny) I can tell ya I’ve never looked as good, had as much fun or achieved more than where I am right now, which sure as shit ain’t a size 6. SEE this movie.
I tried to caption this photo something along the lines of ‘My fave cafe EVER, I totally go here all the time’ but I couldn’t because that would be a big fat lie. My brother went there and sent me the photo, I received it while watching Seinfeld on the couch. I think every now and then (or all the time if you’re game) we need to be a little more honest on social media – there’s no problem with posting photo’s you think you look bomb in or of incredible places you’ve been to, but mixing it up with some real stuff too, or simply pointing out that it took you 50 selfies to get one you liked wouldn’t hurt. The impact that social media can have on people’s self confidence is massive and I don’t know the solution, but maybe just not adding to the problem is a step in the right direction? I dunno, enjoy this photo I did in no way take.